what I didn't expect was to be sitting here at a Mac, or in an office, or with a studio display, or counting the minutes till dinner with in-town relatives, or fielding various stupid-shit email requests, or writing an essay defending my current position here at the League, or feeling sexy or feeling homesick or feeling somewhere in between the two.

i'm telling you that i'm eating pretzels and answering a phone with my business voice, putting together a knowledge management plan, walking around in my socks, arranging and rearranging the toys on my desk, sighing, tangling my toes in ethernet cord, hating everyone except aige. nah.

jesus- why don't i just go on about what restaurants i like and what movies i've seen and which internet celebrities i hang with...

what i didn't expect- what it grosses me out to even contemplate- is that i am writing any of this down.

insert tarp joke here.

fuck this shit.