far too many times in the last few weeks i have woken up only to

1.) feel beat up, and

2.) already know that the day is going to be one of those horrible, terrible, no good, very bad days (which you read about in children's books of some reknown).

with that said, i am trying to take a humorous approach to what happened this morning around 5:30:

i wake up either because the right side of my neck is throbbing in pain, or because there is a sound louder and more penetrating than a car alarm emanating from outside my bedroom windows-- or maybe it is a combination of both sensations that gets me out of bed.

i neglect to put my glasses on.

tripping over various piles of dirty laundry, i get to the window and look out to see several- more than a half dozen- orange men in my backyard, more in the alley behind our house, more in the neighbor's backyard, and so on and so forth.

without really processing any of this visual info, i scream at ryan, "ry! get up! there's men in our backyard with radioactive suits on!"

he, of course, shoots out of bed, grabbing his glasses on the way (smart guy) and joins me at the window.

"megan! they're FIREMEN! hah- radioactive suits"

he plops back into bed.

"but what are they doing in our yard, it's raining, what could possibly be on fire, and why can't they turn off that fucking incessant noise?!?!?" I plead.

"i have no idea. maybe it's just the guys from E.T. come back to bed."

i go back to bed, but not before seeing several firetrucks, lights flashing, approach the next street over and park near the entrance to the alley.

what the fuck.

i get into bed, the kitten is crawling and hopping all over me and batting my lips with her paw (it's her latest game, quite entertaining when you're half-asleep). then i hear voices next door.

my ever-aware and on-the-ready neighbor, Jeff, is on his back patio talking to one of the firemen.

fireguy: "yeeeep, well it seems that someone put a smoke alarm on a piece a plywood over there and just set it off."

jeff: "are you kidding?"

fireguy: "yeeeep, not sure how it got there."

[NOTE: at this moment, the throbbing noise suddenly halts for good, my ears relax]

later on while we're brushing out teeth ry turns to me and yells,

"megan! watch out! there's men in our backyard in radioactive suits!"

hah hah.