every now and then i force myself to re-learn something... about myself.

that sentence was quite awful.

every now and then i remember that i am a person of ideas, not necessarily actions. or maybe more accurately, i am a person with a ton of ideas and ambition/energy enough to begin many endeavors but not necessarily see them all through.

case(s) in point: this month i have a ridiculous number of thoughts "in the works" to a greater or lesser extent, but no clear idea as to how many of these will come to fruition.

for example:

-i am halfway through the application process to donate eggs.
-i am halfway through the application process for a reality-tv show.
-renovating my 3rd floor.
-crafting
-being the sole interviewee for a newspaper feature.
-teaching people how to eBay

etc etc etc etc

what does fruition mean anyway? i do honestly believe that the process/journey is more valuable than the end product, so the fact that some of these projects don't crystallize exactly how i mean them to doesn't relegate them to a "failure" or "unfinished" pile. right?

my dreams lately are full of half-remembered to-do lists and projects and people of the past. am i trying to clear out the half-empties only to create a new pile of them?

today during a leisurely dental visit (i know leisurely isn't usually a word one associates with dentists, but my dentist is very, very special and a great conversationalist) -- my dentist and i made plans to open an organic italian bakery somewhere here in the city.

see how i get myself into these things?

i love it and hate it about myself.